I wish I was Special
by dragonsrgorgeous07
Summary: American Muggle girl sent to Hogwarts to celebrate Diversity during Voldemort's rise to powerMarauder's era And it was just PEACHY when you put itching powder in my bra?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own Henrietta, but no one else. oh and the title was taken from Creep, by Radiohead

A/n: first ever story in first person, let's see how this goes. The first bit isn't train of thought, but the rest of it is. Please review, I'd love to know what you think.

"I wish I was special…"

Chapter 1

"Well, I think it sounds interesting."

"Henrietta, don't let your obsession with fantasy overcome your common sense."

"You said it was my decision."

"But it's a bad one."

"Will you let me be the judge of that for once?"

"Don't use that tone with me!"

"I just," I took a deep breath and began in a more submissive tone of voice. "I just want to make my own decision. Please, mom. It's my mistake to make."

"Fine, but if you come back with a stick and start waving it in MY face, you're in for it."

"Okay mother. I promise I won't wave a stick in your face." I barely kept a straight face at that one. Really, I want to go to Hogwarts because it's in England. I want to see if what my friend said was true, that "All British men look either like women or ugly monkeys."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

This is thoroughly overwhelming. Whoops, I suppose I can't use THAT hair dryer anymore. So I'm sitting here, waiting for the lady who was supposed to meet me five hours ago and she finally shows up. Then I of course realize there's a time change.

Wands are not just sticks. They are made of more than just wood. For instance, mine has unicorn hair in it. I'll have to let my mother know when I contact her next. Since she doesn't know about owl post, I suppose that'll be a long time. I giggled and the lady…I mean Professor McGonagall gave me a strange look. I think she thinks I'm a wee bit crazy. Which is quite possible, I guess.

But then, I have no problem being crazy. After all, I'm going to a school for "Witchcraft and Wizardry" and am supposed to conduct myself with the "utmost attention to rules and schoolwork" and nothing else. I asked the Professor about sports and the only sport witchfolk play is Quidditch (which I can't play because I am not a witch). I think they have a lack of creativity. Maybe it's all the secret keeping they do, what with trying to keep us muggles from knowledge of their existence. So why am I going to Hogwarts when I'm clearly not a "witchfolk"? I'll tell you. I'm not sure. Some mumbo-jumbo about diversity and showing fascist wizards and witches that non-magical folk are people too. Stupid really, I'm certainly not going to change their opinion of me. After all, I'm not anyone spectacular. And if they can't understand simple genetics I might go crazy. Seriously, punnet squares, people!

So Mc-G says there's four houses: Slytherin, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw. I get that Slytherin's a snake and Ravenclaw's some type of bird. And I can kind of see the Gryffindor lion. But what the HELL is a Hufflepuff? I really don't understand. I might fail my first class ever here. Ha! Wouldn't it be hilarious if I got sorted into Hufflepuff and asked the Head of House (this is so formal it's crazy!) what a Hufflepuff was? I guess I shouldn't. Some people think I have a strange sense of humor.

Mc-G said they conjured up a tennis court for me. Sweet! I'll be servin' it up all by myself! I just asked if they had a marching band for half-times at Quidditch matches. I don't think I should ask any more questions. She looks a bit stressed.

I'm on this train called the Hogwarts Express. I wish the schools back home had their own trains. That would be awesome. I guess I'll take a nap. I still don't know if what my friend said was true…

A/N: -thanks josh!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own things

A/n: Thanks Lady of the Squirrels and Kestrez for the reviews, hope you all like this chapter. By the way, this is the Marauders in the time of now. Please review!

Chapter 2

Okay so the first years in this boat with me definitely look like girls. I wouldn't go so far as to say they look like women though. Too peach-fuzzy for that. I've decided that guy Hagrid looks like an ugly monkey, though. A huge ugly monkey. But he seems nice. Nice is good.

I think I'm getting a little homesick. Or maybe that's seasick. How can you tell the difference? Both make you nauseous. Now I must say, I'm usually a big fan of cold; however, cold and wet is an entirely different matter. On the plus side, I'm awake now. Since this isn't a movie, I'll just tell you that the sarcastic smile on my face is freaking these kids out! I thought witches and wizards were supposed to be brave.

Mc-G just pulled me aside to say I'm in her house. I just asked her which that was. I think she hates me. That's Gryffindor, in case you were wondering. I'm getting my own room, with "Muggle accommodations" which apparently means I can use the radio. Yay for that! She told me the password to the house common room and to my room, gave me a map and told me to find it.

Guess what? I'm not very good at reading maps. I think I'm supposed to be in a tower. I'm in what I can only deduce as a dungeon. Whoops. It took me an hour to get here too. Fantastic!

Time for an update on my life. I'm in a damp, deep, dark, dank place that I have no idea how to get out of. I'm supposed to be in a high, dry, fairly warm place. I don't like cats, and there's one stalking me right now. I just told the cat I hope I dissected its best friend last year in biology. Heh.

Oh look, human contact! He looks worse than an ugly monkey. He also looks very angry. I do not deal well with angry people.

I'm in detention now because I got lost in this gigantic place. I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty harsh. Irksome Jack—hey! There are other people in here now. Two guys, they don't even look like women! OR ugly monkeys! Plus, they're my age! Hazah!

So Grumpy is telling us what we're supposed to be doing to serve our detentions. I honestly did not think detention would be like this. Of course, I really have nothing to compare it to, never having had detention before, but still. This is hard-core labor.

He just led us into a room and told us we'd be in there all night making the place spotless and if it wasn't by the time he came in at eight in the morning, we'd have to come back every night. The prospects are not encouraging. This place is disgusting. We're standing knee-high in muck right now and we're just in the doorway. You know what he said just now? "No Magic!" Well damn. That plan's down the drain. Oops. I just laughed out loud. Heh.

He just asked me what was so funny.

Well, Mr. Grumpy, I have no way to use magic. You see, I'm what you people call a muggle, I REALLY have to pee and the prospects of me getting to the bathroom right now are in the negative digits, while I'm standing knee-high in muck that is quite possibly full of dangerous organisms, including these teenage boys standing with me. They look too mischievous to take this seriously and I really, really just want to crawl into bed. You see Mr. Grumpy, I'd really rather laugh than cry.

What did I say? "Oh nothing sir, I was just thinking that these guys probably don't know how to get these stains out of their clothes."

Reasonable, right? Too bad he took it seriously. "Take those robes off, then."

Which left me in a skirt, my new shoes, and a white blouse. Then he shut the door.

"So how exactly are we supposed to clean this out?"

"Window!" This was a stupid thing to shout, really. I was just excited at the prospect of fresh air.

"Great idea!"

I almost stopped them, but decided not to. Mostly because I have these stupid moments, but I really could not think of another way to get rid of the stuff. And it stunk horribly.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Umm, I don't own a lot of things in this story.

**A/n: **please review! Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter!

Chapter 3

The verdict on throwing muck out a third story window? Not fun. I know, I know, it really sounds like it would be, but this blouse is new. And white. And these stains? I don't really know how to get them out.

"So you know that muggle they told us about? I think that was the stupidest idea ever. She's in our house too. She's not going to be able to keep up in any of the classes. What kind of name is Henrietta anyway?"

"A stupid name."

"Exactly."

That's not very nice, boys. I, after all, am a muggle named Henrietta. Oh wait. I think they're talking about me. They don't know it's me. This seems like a wonderful opportunity. I feel like a secret agent. The James Bond theme is running through my head. That song gives me chills.

Okay, I think I started humming the theme song. Forget that, humming? I'm full on singing! Which would be why they're giving me freaked out looks. Heh. Ba-da-dah! Ba-da-dah! DUH! Duh dah-duh, duh-duh-da-dah….

"What is wrong with you?"

"I don't think we really want to know, James."

"I guess you're quite right Sirius."

Did you see those names? And they're making fun of MY name? JERKFACES!

I snickered thinking about their names. They're giving me strange looks again.

"I think you guys need to learn how to multitask. For example, I am thinking of many different random things in my head and am making much more progress than you are. So if you need to, ignore me and get on with the work, or keep giving me strange looks like I'm crazy, but you have to keep working. I am NOT coming back in here again."

"Who are you to tell us what to do? We don't know you at all! We have seniority!"

I'm afraid to say that I'm rolling my eyes fairly obviously. I think they noticed.

"What's you name?"

"Whoever you were just talking about."

Bastards.

"Wait, you're the muggle?"

"No Shiznit"

"So uh," Aww…they're blushing! "What's the deal with your name?"

"Well, I'm certainly not named after a giant mass of gas."

"What is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with _you_? I'M bringing Sexy Back."

"What?"

I absolutely adore confusing people. Look at how befuddled they are! How cute, just like five-year-olds.

"Are you insane?"

"Well…I do believe in magic, but then so do you. Basically, I'm no more insane than you are."

HAHAHAHHAHAA! I've trapped them! They cannot escape from my word-web. If they still insist I'm crazy, then so are they. If they deny it, they can no longer call me insane.

It is now seven a.m. and we are cleaning the room with toothbrushes. _Toothbrushes. _This makes everything seem that much more appetizing. Yay for not having eaten since….long time ago. There goes my stomach.

"You're hungry too?"

"Amazing, isn't it? How much _muggles_ and _wizards_ can have in common? It's no wonder I was brought here."

They exchanged glances. I despise people who exchange glances. It makes it seem like they're part of this special club and I'm not in it. Oh wait, they are.

"We're sorry."

"You are sorry because you are being forced to say that you are because you are in a very stinky, containing situation. But that's okay, I accept. I realize I have to move slowly with my expectations of you people."

They are shocked at my sharply biting comebacks. I can see it in their faces.

They were nice enough to lead me to the common room in the morning. However, when I saw them next I was singing a Paul McCartney song that probably offended them. And really was not meant to. Oh well. I have my own room. Heh.

A/n: Did you catch all the music references? Do you know which Paul McCartney song it is? Review and let me know!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I still own Henrietta.**

**A/n: thanks to all the reviewers, I luv you!**

Chapter 4

Something keeps throwing things at me. What the hell is that? Whoops. I said that out loud.

"Peeves!"

"No shit Sherlock, he peeves me off to, but seriously now."

"Stop saying my name!"

"I was not referring to the giant mass of gas kind of Sirius, I was referring to the opposite of joking kind of serious." Honestly, learn the difference!

"Hi! You're Henrietta, right? My name is Lily Evans, and I think I'm going to like you."

OOOOOOkay. She's crazy. Just kidding. "Hello?"

"No really, you have really good comebacks to him. Can you teach me? I have terrible comebacks and…"

"Hey Lily! Will you go out with me?"

"Hey! James the second was a flaming homosexual!" hehhee. Suckers!

"Thank you!"

"You're welcome Miss Evans, now what class are ya'll going to?" Oh my god, they must think I'm southern. Shit. Wait. Do Europeans see Americans as all being the same, like Americans see the British Geographical areas as having no difference in the types of people and accents? Hmm…interesting. I shall have to investigate. Ba-da-duh, da-da-duh, DUH!

WOOT! Somersaults are fun with a bag of books.

In retrospect, I probably should not have done that in a skirt. Stop looking at me like that. "I was mucking around with two boys all night! Leave me alone." Oh shiznit. I was….NOT what that could be implied to mean.

Great. Now all witchfolk think all muggles are sluts. Great job representing the minority, self! Are you feeling the sarcasm? Huh? HUH?

Oh no. Mc-G is looking like she asked me a question. This is uncomfortable.

"Henrietta!" I snapped to attention. "I do not want you daydreaming in class. It is not permitted. Now answer the question."

Oh boy. I hate when teachers do this. And I don't dare ask her to repeat the question. Her nostrils are _flaring. _That is scary. Think of something, must think of something…tennis! Umm…don't think that's the answer…love? Worth a shot, I guess. "Love?"

"Well then, I guess you were paying attention."

What? What could possibly be going on?

"And so, because chocolates are so helpful in the ways of love, we are going to be transforming pencils into chocolates today."

What the hell? I thought this was ADVANCED transfiguration.

"I'm sorry, did I say pencils? I meant gerbils." Oh.

"Henrietta, please come up to my desk."

"Yes, ma'am." Oh no. What did I do now?

"While you obviously cannot participate in the class activities, you can, I assume, write essays. That is what you will be doing in all of your classes. You do a project or an essay on what we learned in class that day."

Joy. "Can I make it interesting?"

"Sure."

"Thank you." I walked away.

"Wait. Henrietta, how exactly are you going to make it interesting?"

The whole class just looked up. "Oh. You'll see." And I walked out. I don't think I was supposed to do that, but it was the most fun thing ever. So, for homework, a project on Gerbils and Chocolates. That will be my title.

So, Gerbils and Chocolates. Uhh…chocolates make people happy while gerbils make people sad sometimes when they bite them. No wait! Umm…heh. What a predicament.

I need inspiration! To the common room!

People are just like gerbils. (I have no idea what gerbils are like, yay for b.s.ing!) They climb all over couches and each other, touching each other in possibly very inappropriate ways and sliding mouths over other mouths. They share food that comes from the same place, sleep in the same cramped rooms, and begin to walk around their cages every day at a certain time. Some are more inclined to daytime and some to night.

However, from the chocolates' point of view, the gerbil and the person are vicious creatures ready to attack at any moment. The people when they are PMSing (both girls AND boys) and the Gerbils…well…whenever.

I just made a poster. And I am done. Can I get a hoorah?

Anyway, time to go find those tennis courts.

**A/n: not as good, sorry. But please review anyway! Love means nothing to a tennis player.**


	5. Chapter 5

**a/n:Ah! homecoming week is so CRAZY when you're in band. I wanted to thank everyone for everything but I don't really have the time! thanks everyone!**

Chapter 5

I'm walking through the common room in my tennis outfit….yeah. There's people all around, and they look like they've never seen a tennis skirt before.

"Who wears spandex skirts? They weren't even in style in the eighties. What kind of a freaky-shaped bag is that?"

I guess they really haven't seen a tennis outfit before.

"I think it might be for some kind of sport."

Thanks Lily.

"There is no kind of sport that wears spandex skirts. I know all sports!"

So that Siruis Black kid, he's not that smart.

I just glanced at Lily and she mouthed that all 'popular' (jerkface!) boys' backs are turned. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

I drop my duffel bag and take my racket out quietly. EVERYONE (besides the stupid four) is watching. I slowly reach my hand up my skirt to grab the tennis ball. I'm throwing the ball into the air, crouching, springing up, and hitting the ball.

"AHHHHHHH! WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT?"

I grab my duffel bag, and pick up the rolling ball from the ground with my tennis racket, slipping it back under my skirt.

"It's called tennis, biatch." And I walked out.

That, my friends, was satisfying.

When I came back two hours later, he was still icing his back. Baby. It's not like I hit that ball _over_ a hundred miles an hour.

"Hey Henrietta, do you want to do homework with us?"

"Sorry, Ms. Evans," why do I keep doing that? "I've already finished."

I'm in my room. My lovely, beautiful, huge, lonely room. When suddenly, there is a disturbance.

"James Potter I would NOT go out with you if you were the last boy on earth!"

Before he went and made it worse (which would have inevitably, happened, I might add) I stepped out of my room.

"Mr. Potter. Can I talk to you for a second?"

He glanced at Sirius and then at me. And he shook his head no.

"Fine then, dig your own grave."

I just started playing "Heya" by Outcast quite loud. And I started dancing in the middle of the common room.

Again with the shocking people thing.

And Singing.

"Shake it like a Polaroid picture!"

And boy can I shake it!

**a/n: not that happy about this chapter, but please review anyways!**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own George 

**A/N: Carmen, I found George, and I didn't kill him…just for you. I'm also not doing my homework b/c of you. Grrr! Thank you everyone who reviewed! I love you!**

Chapter 6

I am the top of the class in Muggle Studies. I wonder why.

"Can you tutor me?"

"Look kid, the only reason I know this stuff is…well…I'm not sure exactly. It's like, common sense, you know?"

"Yeah, you bitch mud-blood!"

"There is no such thing as blood made of mud. It is impossible. Blood is made of cells and a liquid substance. Mud would ruin blood and render it useless."

"Cells are something they should put _things_ like you in."

Ah, the stupidity. I really think it might affect me permanently soon.

"Hey Gryffindors, how is it having a muggle in your midst? Do you have to dumb everything down? I bet you have to act like she's a three-year-old."

"Why don't you shut up?"

"Oh Lily Evans, so terrifying, I'm shaking in my clothes."

I want to kick him in the face. I want to see the blood pool around his feet. But I must restrain myself. After all, I am supposed to support interrelations, not harm them more.

"Where's George? I must find George!"

"Henrietta, who's George?" How could Lily not know who George was?

"My box-elder bug. I can't find him!"

"What, this?" Peter Pettigrew (I hate him, I hate him, I hate him) said, peeling my friend George from his shoe.

"YOU KILLED GEORGE? HOW COULD YOU!" Screw being an example. George was my _friend, _man. NOT COOL. So I launched myself at him.

"Henrietta."

Shit. Mc-G's here.

"Come with me please."

In the headmaster's office….la de dah….de-dah, de-da-deeee!

"Henrietta." Snapping to attention, I salute. "Henrietta, I worry for you."

I sighed. "You too? I'm glad I'm not the only one." He raised an eyebrow. "Sir, I'm going insane here. I mean, I was never normal to begin with, but these people…they…really get under my skin. I miss my music, sir."

"Your music?"

"Can I join a band?"

"I suppose…"

"Cool. Tryouts are Hogmeade's weekend."

"I'm sure we could arrange something. Now Henrietta, are you okay besides that?"

"Well, I guess, maybe with my music I could control myself better." That's B.S. and he knows it.

"Okay, good luck at tryouts."

"Thank you sir."

But I got away with it, and that's all that matters right now.

"Hey Henrietta, where's George?"

"Shut up mass of gas."

"ohhh…_someone's_ horny."

"Speak for yourself."

"I was."

Shoving him to the floor, I ran into my room. That was close. I really don't know how to snog…and from what I hear…he's an expert.

**A/N: please review! Even if it's not much, anything is greatly appreciated!**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I promise… 

**A/n: yay for reviews! I would like more though…unfortunately this chapter isn't as funny or lighthearted, it's more dark…ah well. It was bound to happen eventually.**

Chapter 7

Look at all this food. All of it. So… luscious …and… and…sensuous, just like…the sea.

Blind-as-a-bat boy (James Potter, in case you're clue-less) just shoved my face in my pie. I wanted to eat that pie. Very badly. It was so erotically appealing before my face ravaged it.

He and his friends are laughing at the pie's demise. No, they could not possibly be laughing at me. Definitely not at my face. They are laughing at the PIE! How can someone laugh at a pie that was made into a strumpet? It makes me want to cry.

"Henrietta's gonna cry now!" and they laugh. And laugh. And they keep laughing as I get up and walk away.

And of course it's raining today so I can't play tennis. Damn.

In the bathroom, washing my face…those bitches come in and are like 'whoa muggle, what happened to your face? Oh wait. That's what you always look like'

So I walk away from that.

My mommy would be proud at the anger management skills I am acquiring.

That poor pie.

I should probably write to my mom. She might be a little worried.

_Dear Mommy,_

_I'm having a fantastic time at summer camp. I am learning bunches of stuff abut sticks and trees and grass and…water. Did you know water is polar? Actually, it kind of sucks. I'm being singled out constantly and made fun of all the time. THEY KILLED GEORGE!_

Okay, for real now:

Dear Mother,

Stuff is fine, weather here sucks, accents are cool. See ya later,

Love ya,

The female version

Of Henry of Navarre (Henry IV)

Later, in the common room, those jerkfaces have the _nerve_ to talk to me.

"Henrietta, because you're new and…well we want to get to know you…"

"Cut the B.S. boys, I know you just want to torture me." I glared daggers at them. Smoldering, sexy.

"Okay then, sing us a song. The whole common room."

Wow. Um. Yeah. What should I sing? Now everyone's staring. FANTASTIC.

Bastards.

I went into my room.

"Oh look, muggle girl's chicken."

I came back out with my guitar. Needless to say, they shut the F&$ up.

I came right up to where the four punks were sitting and started singing, avoiding their eyes. Starting to snap my fingers in time, I began the song that just felt _right_ for that moment.

"_When you were here before,_

_Couldn't look in your eyes,_

_You're just like an Angel" _I glanced up at them out of the corners of my eyes.

"_You're skin makes me cry" _I gently touched Black's cheek.

"_You float like a feather," _I looked at Potter.

"_In a beautiful world._

_I wish I was special,_

_You're so f&ing special"_

The guitar chords came thumping out.

"_But I'm a creep, _

_I'm a weirdo_

_What the hell am I doing here?_

_I don't belong here."_

I grabbed Lupin's shoulder

"_I don't care if it hurts,_

_I wanna have control,_

_I want a perfect body" _My robe fell off, my six pack showed off under my underarmor (it's cold in england!) and my skirt showed off my muscular legs.

_"I want a perfect soul"_

"_I want you to notice," _Looking at Black again

_"When I'm not around,_

_you're so fucking special_

_I wish I was special"_

"_But I'm a creep, _

_I'm a weirdo_

_What the hell am I doing here?_

_I don't belong here."_

When I finished the rest of the song, the room was dead silent, and I walked back into my room.

Epiphany! I know what I'm going to use for my tryout tomorrow!

A/n: please review! 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: in that last chapter, that song…it's called creep. By Radiohead. And whoops I forgot to bleep that one part and am far too lazy to fix it.

**A/n: Can you say World Series?**

Chapter 8

I am now the only muggle in a band composed entirely of witchfolk. Heh heh. One small step for me, one giant step for non-magical woman-kind!

They already took pictures with the new band and posted posters everywhere. Ha! Posted posters!

In the common room I overhead a fascinating conversation. The 'Marauders' ; and I use the term not because they insist upon it, but because I tire of calling them the four blunder-heads; were talking about said posters and saying that the new lead singer (me!) was…in more civil terms, attractive. Score! Just wait till they realize it's me. What fun that will be!

"Baby got back!"

There's really not much to do on a Sunday. Except…I heard there were Quidditch tryouts today for Gryffindor. This should be entertaining

I'm have arrived at the field. Someone just informed me rather crossly that "it is not a _field_, you dolt, it is a _pitch" _Well la-de-dah.

I'll be completely honest. These tryouts are pathetic. If this is the ONLY sport these witchfolk play, they should be good at it. At least some of them should be good at it. They should be able to catch and throw, at the very least. Is that so much to expect?

"Hello Henrietta."

"Good morrow."

"What?"

"Something the matter? Can't I make fun of the English?" Oh no, she's English. I forgot.

"Not when your friend is English." Well then, I guess I just have to make fun of specific people instead of large groups.

"Hey Potter, do you ever take a shower?" Wait. Maybe they don't take showers. Perhaps they take baths.

"What?"

"What's the matter don't you take a drizzle every day?"

Joy. That could be construed as SO many things that it wasn't meant to be. Whoopee!

"Hey Potter!" Heh. He just crashed into a wall! This is a knee-slapping good time.

Aw Moonshine! Black is after me. I'm gone.

"Bye Lily!"

Running down the stairs, I turn back and see Lily still standing on the bleachers, looking concerned in Potter's direction. Damn kid's got her hooked and neither of them knows it.

Stupid Black's still coming after me. I must run. After all, I certainly don't want to end up in a broom closet with him!

A/n: Well, that's the SECOND time I've written this chapter because my comp. Is a dumb-butt!

**Thank-you's:**

**Kestrez: Thanks always.**

**Silvirtaj: Thank you always as well.**

**Kendra-the-hyper-one: (I apologize for not spelling your name right) But you rock so much. To be honest, your reviews remind me of my reviews! LOL**

**hanyouinlove: I am so happy to be the one to take your virgin HPFF-ness and for you to like it! Thanks for your review, please keep reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: nope 

**A/n: well…yeah. Carmen, I blame you for this! So this is…after the last chapter. yeah. Thanks for the reviews, please keep them coming!**

Chapter 9

Running, running, running! Da-da-du-du-da-dah! Okay getting focus back on running _for_ _my life_ now. I'm in my stride now, but I have no idea how far behind Black is. I don't date look behind me for fear of tripping (I have been doing that an awful lot lately, thought I don't believe all of it's my fault).

Stupid hey game, why did I have to bring it to England? Now it's worldwide. A shame, really. And now, it's going to get me killed.

Killed by a highborn Witch-boy. That shall be upon my gravestone, I have decided. If, of course, he decides to give me a chance to express my last wishes.

Which he probably won't.

Wow, this castle thing is really quite far away from the 'pitch'.

I chance a glance behind me and…the witch-boy is gaining quickly. Damn. I better get a quicker stride.

Two hundred yards…one hundred yards…fifty yards…and I'm in! I continue to run, thinking correctly that Black won't just give up. After all, I may have just caused the death of his best mate.

Besides, who wants to end up in a broom closet with a hot, bothered, _angry_ young man? Certainly no one like myself. Since I have a brain and all. I think.

Hearing quick footsteps behind me, I decide to take a stand. I have no chance in hell anyway, might as well die with some semblance of honor, right?

So I stop. Yes, directly where I was. Go tennis split stepping skills! And turn directly around without losing my balance. This I give credit to marching band for.

That Black kid keeps coming, to avenge his friend, of course. I really don't blame him. After all, if I had friends like that I would do the same. But I'm a little crazy.

And I have discovered witch-boy is even crazier, as he is holding his wand to my throat and glaring daggers at me, probably trying to think of a spell I deserve.

However, I do have a nasty self-preservation instinct and try to get myself out of this situation. His wand is too close to my throat for me to curtsy, so I ask him "Excuse me, Most Noble Pureblooded Sir, will it really make that much of a difference if your wand is that close when you kill me or if it's a foot away?"

"Disgusting, sniveling, muggle! You're no better than Snape. In fact, you're worse!" But he takes a step back.

I scramble for a comeback, but cannot think of one. "No excuses, Sir." At this, I curtsy so low my nose nearly touches the floor. Which is thoroughly disgusting by the way, breathing in all of the dirt, dust, and who knows what.

The audience and new Quidditch team come in, unnoticed by Black. This includes Potter, who is walking without even a limp in his step. None of them seem to notice my precarious situation. Least of all Lily, my supposed friend, who seems completely enamored with the miracle now that he survived a life-threatening situation with nary a scratch.

And I'm STILL in the curtsy. Witch-boy looks confused.

"Black, Henrietta! What are you doing?"

Ah, Mc-G to the rescue. "Curtsying to his supreme authority, him being a male, a wizard, and having the awesome power of a stick."

"Black, I'm shocked at your behavior." He looks dismayed at the thought of me getting away with my deed. However, he accepts his punishment without complaint. Well, without much complaint, at any rate. "How dare one of my students attack a muggle with magic whereupon they have _no_ chance to defend themselves."

Still in the curtsy. Don't you people realize this HURTS???????? "Professor, this is partially my fault."

"I can't hear you silly girl, get up."

"I said it's partially my fault. No please, let me finish." Black's mouth is hanging open. "Shut it, Black." He does. Heh. "I am the one who brought the plague of the hey game into this school. I deserve far more punishment than you would believe. Unless, of course, it doesn't take off in popularity here like it did in the states."

"Fine, detention for both of you then." Mc-G rolled her eyes. "I'll see you two tomorrow night."

**A/n: for the love of whatever you love, review!**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: no 

**A/n: I love torturing my characters. Even though they're like my children (if I had any).**

Chapter 10

Going to detention. Going to detention. Going to detention. I hope it's nothing like it was before. I really don't have enough clothes to keep doing that.

So…yep. Standing' in Mc-G's office with that Black kid. This isn't uncomfortable at all.

He's staring at me like he can't figure me out; as well he might, for I can't even figure myself out. And if I don't know myself, well then, no one else should.

While in this disquieting silence, I might as well confess something. My first band practice is Tuesday night and I'm nervous as hell. I mean, clearly they thought I was good enough to pick me on the spot. But I only told them I was a muggle right before I left for Hogwarts. Running.

Finally, there's Mc-G!

She looks grim.

"I have thought long and hard on a punishment for what you both have done. And considering neither of you can really stand each other, I think I have come up with something suitable." She has this devious look on her face that worries me. "You will learn to get along. For the rest of the week you will not be able to go farther than five feet from each other."

She lets us digest this.

"But on Tuesday…"

"You will take him along."

"But, professor-"

"You will learn to trust each other."

She interrupted me!

"And bathroom breaks, and changing, and showers?" Oh, I suppose they do take showers.

"I am quite sure you will figure something out. Oh and I feel it is fair to tell you that if you exceed the limit, you will both crash together in the middle of the space, no matter what."

That really does pose a problem, doesn't it?

"Oh, and you mustn't tell anyone else about this."

"Just how are we supposed to explain our sudden…closeness?" Black looks disgusted at the very thought. Well I have news for you, I'm not so thrilled about it either.

"I am sure I don't know." She holds the door open for us.

And of course, she closes the door before we can ask any more questions. So, out of habit, we both walk in opposite directions.

SMACK 

Well. I guess we won't be doing that again anytime soon. That _hurts._

A/n: oh no! it looks as if I am planning ahead in this fic for the first time. Gah! 

**Please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: negative.**

**A/n: Ah, the drama. I've been wanting to write this chapter for 3 frickin' days! Stupid school. By the way, drama's heading your way!duh duh duhhhhh!**

Chapter 11

I've come to the conclusion that Mc-G's evil. She's utterly despicable and disgusting and base. However, I'm a big enough person to applaud her deviousness.

Unfortunately, we have to go on as if nothing has happened, and that is difficult, to say the least.

We got back to the common room and sat at opposite ends of the couch. We were both afraid to move. Then, of course, girls and the rest of the Marauders flocked to his princedom and tried to kick me out. I was like, oh HELLS no! and they were all like, oh HELLS yes! And Black did not say a word. Not in my defense, not in theirs. Then, they shoved me off the couch and onto the floor. Would you like to know what he said? Nothing. Absolutely-freaking-nothing.

So there I was, sitting on the floor, getting trampled, when I blew up. My mother would not be proud.

"I was sitting on the couch," I began calmly.

"So? No one cares about you." The irony being they are talking about my band and how great it is to finally have females in a high-class band.

Then, being the quick-to-temper girl I am, I stood up. "I am NOT sitting on the floor, and since I was there first, you will get up."

I'm afraid I'm making a scene, after all, everyone is staring at me, mouths gaping.

That wench just rolled her eyes at me!

I think Black finally realized what's going on. Ignoramus!

"Look muggle, I don't want to do something like use magic on you because that's _so_ un-called for. After all, I wouldn't want the poor baby to get hurt."

"Te gusta quitarte la ropa enfrente de los chicos, perra!" I scoff and roll my eyes.

She doesn't understand, but she did take out her wand. Hmm...interesting.

At this point, I'm glaring at Black, hoping he's receiving my telepathic signal to get up. He's not moving. Do I see a smirk? He's _enjoying _this. Oh…I am going to make him PAY.

"Look girl, you're disgusting and pathetic. Clearly, you have a crush on Sirius, but you must realize you have no chance in hell, after all, he's so far above your league…"

Must hold back instinct to slap. Holding back…holding back…mustn't give in to temptation…shiznit! I lost control. Heh. Look at her face.

Smart move, self. Now her wand is at my throat. _Fabulous._

"Don't you EVER touch me, disgusting, muggle filth!"

And…the true colors of witchfolk are shown. I glance over, and he's still smirking, clearly enjoying the spectacle. Thanks for the help jerkface.

She took a step towards me and I wanted to step back, but I was afraid it would be too far for the spell, so I just stood there. And looked her directly in the eyes. Did I mention most people find my eyes incredibly creepy? They're black. Completely, utterly, black. At least, the part that's normally a color like brown or blue or something is black.

What's funny is, people don't seem to notice until I look them directly in the eyes close up.

She stumbled down. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I win. Yay!

The rest of the girls crowd around to see what 'terrible thing' I did to her.

So I march over to Black, grab his arm and pull him away from the crowd and into my room to have a nice, long, talk.

Which is black, purple, and blue, by the way.

"What?"

"You dare ask me what? You didn't do a darn thing. You could have helped. Here I was, being nice, going to change my schedule around so you could sleep in, trying to stay within five feet so your friends wouldn't be too weirded out, and you couldn't be bothered to stand up for me?"

"That would look weird."

"Are you freaking kidding me? What looked weird was you looking _amused_ when she called me a filthy, disgusting muggle."

"Look I-"

"No. You're done. You are going to pay so bad. You'll wish you had had the _balls_ to stand up for me when you had the chance."

"It's not my fault-"

"Not your fault? Ha! Let me tell you something; tomorrow is MY day. You will follow ME around like some sick stalker and see what you fan club says about that!"

I started to stomp out of the room…bad idea. I was thrown into him quickly once again, landing him on my bed with me on top.

Struggling to get off the bed, I stated: "And we're playing tennis tomorrow before breakfast."

**A/n: heh. ..please review!**

** You like to take off your clothes in front of boys, slut!**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: is this really necessary? We are on FANFICTION 

**A/n: thanks for being patient (even those of you who weren't, cough kestrez and silvirtaj cough)**

Chapter 12

Heh. I just woke Sirius up at 5 a.m. and we're walking out to the court. He does not look happy. Surprisingly, though, he's not complaining. I think he may be too tired to complain.

Starting to serve, and I realize he's standing directly behind me.

"Umm….you might want to move."

"Huh? Oh."

"Which would generally involve actually moving….?"

"To the side!!!!!!!!!"

Finally he moves! Geez. Clearly he cannot function this early in the morning. So I'm hitting the ball against the brick wall, and you know, RUNNING, because that's what you do in sports…and…. apparently he didn't move fast enough because now I'm on top of him, laying on the cement.

I relented. We're eating breakfast now.

Where I wanted to sit. Oh the power I'm wielding.

The day passes in its normal monotonous way, however, trying to stay close to Sirius, that's a chore.

It's nighttime!

"Come on, Sirius."

"What?" He blinked blearily at me.

"We have to go."

"Why?"

Again, he _certainly_ does not function well without sleep.

And again, my anger management skills are completely nonexistent. "Because I said so, you idiot!"

So, we're walking to the band thing, what I told Sirius on the way was my job.

Which, in my defense, it is. Perhaps it's not a normal job. But still, it's my job. I should have warned him, you say? Oh no. No way in hell this boy deserves to be forewarned. Of anything. Well, maybe of Voldemort coming up behind him. But otherwise? Nope.

Here we are…my first band practice, with a thorn in my side. Who looks very confused at the building, by the way.

"Do you…do you work at a strip club?"

Did he just say that? Really? I may just have to kill him.

Of course, maybe not. Maybe if I did that, I would have to carry his body all around everywhere with me for the rest of the week.

That would probably get very smelly.

Taking a deep breath, I reach for the door handle, hoping against hope that I will not be humiliated.

**A/n: Thank you everyone for reviewing, please continue to do so. Maybe this time someone else that hasn't reviewed before will review again? And if they do, maybe I'll get another chapter up sooner. Think about that. Lol But seriously, please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Yes, I am a millionaire author writing on fanfiction. You dare to doubt me? I own the world! You cannot disprove that! You can't see me, na-nah-na-na-nah

**A/n: possibly the longest chapter in this little story. Unfortunately, I seem to be getting away from funny. I promise, I will bring humor in next chapter. By the bye, I'm only updating this because I'm nice. No one new reviewed. Not that I don't love all my regulars…b/c I do. **

Chapter 13

"Hello Henrietta!" Alvan said.

"I still have a job, right?" I ask cautiously.

"Of course you do," Keane replies. "You were still the best singer. All the others sucked."

I glance at Sirius. His mouth is gaping open, and he's gazing from them to me and back again. Just watching his eyes is making _me_ dizzy.

Yeah, some stripper I am. Moooooahahahahahahaha.

"Let's get started, shall we?" Alvan slips behind the drum kit and grabs his sticks.

"Wait a minute." Chilton said, slipping his bass over his shoulder, "Who's this?"

"Um, well…I kind of got in trouble at school and…I'm not supposed to tell anyone why exactly he's here."

"Okay."

They trust me! Yay!

Thorpe just asked me what I wanted to play. Hmm…Because I got High by Afroman? Ha! Just kidding.

"A song I wrote just this week, if you don't mind."

"Of course we don't mind."

"We love new songs!"

"Cool, here's the chords and everything. It's called 'Hate Me'".

Sirius is still just staring. I have a bad feeling that he is going to snap out of it soon and ruin everything, but I really hope he doesn't. So, in order to keep him quiet, I shall sing this song directly to him.

"_I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head_

_They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed_

_Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone_

_Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home_

_There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain_

_An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?_

_And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?_

_And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space_

_Hate me today_

_Hate me tomorrow_

_Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you"_ I look at Sirius, and he's just staring at me, looking like he's trying to figure me out.

"I'm sober now for three whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with 

_The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again_

_In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night_

_While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight_

_You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate_

_You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take_

_So I'll drive so f(&ing far away that I never cross your mind_

_And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind_

_Hate me today_

_Hate me tomorrow_

_Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you_

_Hate me in ways_

_Yeah ways hard to swallow_

_Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you_

_And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave_

_Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made_

_And like a baby girl I never was a woman_

_Until I saw your blue eyes crying and I held your face in y hand_

_And then I fell down yelling "make it go away!"_

_Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be_

_And then he whispered "How can you do this to me?"_

_Hate me today_

_Hate me tomorrow_

_Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you_

_Hate me in ways _

_Yeah ways hard to swallow_

Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you" 

The song finished, I look up at the band. They're peering at me with a kind of needless worry.

"I just have to say, I'm glad we picked you."

"Thank you, Thorpe."

Walking back, Sirius pushes me to the ground.

"What the hell?"

"Why didn't you tell us you were the_ lead singer _of THAT band?"

"Oh please, like I need _false_ friends. Besides, it was fun listening to you talk about me while I was in the room. It was just like old times." I replied flippantly, referring to my last detention with the jerkfaces.

"False friends? We would've been _real_ friends. We're not bad people."

"Oh? Well then, I guess I was wrong. After all, friends that needs incentives to be friends with you clearly are the better friends than those that like you for who you are." I got up and walked onward towards the school.

"We would've learned to like each other!"

"Bull shiznit! All of you would be sickening with your hope that I would take you to meet the band. And now you have, despite my efforts to keep this from happening, met them. I knew this would happen. You will now be too dazzled to see me for who I really am."

"You're wrong."

"Can't you see? It has already begun. I do not want pity since you heard that song. I don't want anyone pretending to be my friend. I do not want to be forced into pretending we're obsessed with each other so that other people will not find out what our punishment is. And already, that time is here. You will tell your little friends all about our little escapade tonight with no regard for what I might want. And you know why? Because, like all of you witch-folk, you're selfish, arrogant, and too darn focused on what someone can do, talent, you could say, rather than what they work hard for."

"I am not!"

"No? So all that talk about Muggles and how far behind they are in everything was…what? a front? Please, spare me the diplomatic talk. I'm not stupid."

By that time, we reached the gate to Hogwarts, where Mc-G was waiting.

"How did it go?" She asked disapprovingly.

I forced a smile and saw Black do the same. "Fine." We answered at the same time.

**A/n: the song was "Hate me" by Blue October, I do not own that either.**

**Next time there will be chickens.**

**Please review! Please! I will give you virtual cookies if you do!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I would like to own…lots of fictional characters. wink**

**A/n: I promised you chickens, and I deliver you chickens! Whatever I promised to reviewers last time goes to Kendra (I don't feel like writing your whole name out, sorry)**

Chapter 14

I'm afraid my shock is quite evident. This because I stopped short right inside the portrait hole, and Black ran into me. I notice that my mouth is hanging open, but I can't seem to close it.

Lily is sitting on James' lap. I kid you not. And she just giggled that disgusting, ridiculous giggle girls sometimes do. I think I may have just lost all respect for her. That giggle….I can't stand it. It makes me want to…. slap something. Like her, for instance.

"Henrietta, why did the chicken cross the road?"

"Well, Lily, _clearly_ chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads. But you wouldn't understand that, would you?"

Burn on witch-folk intelligence.

Black is looking at me all weird. Mayhaps he would like to move. Which would probably involve me moving too. And maybe the fat lady would like to close her hole.

That was unintentional, I swear.

Still. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

"Sirius, we should go do homework now."

"Fine" he grumbled.

See his fan club looking at me, all jealous and stuff…it is incredibly fulfilling. Almost worth the torture of having to be with him all the time. Not quite.

In my room, doing homework. Well, he's doing homework. I think that may be a first for him. Me, I'm playing guitar, trying to figure out these new songs that I'm going to be singing.

"Henrietta, what's the real reason the chicken crossed the road?"

I roll my eyes at this witch-boy's obsession with chickens. It's not like I have prepared answers to this question typed out and categorized. Oh wait. I do. Heh.

"The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity."

"What?" Oh dear, he looks confused.

"You heard me."

"I think you are the one who has sexual insecurity, not me."

"Contrarily, no." See, witch-boy, I am not afraid of your shenanigans.

"So you're perfectly fine knowing that you are in a room with the most longed-after man in this school, with hundreds of girls wishing they were in your place?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!" Oh wait. It doesn't look like he was joking. But really, did he just call himself a man? And the most longed-after one at that?

"Oh please, I told you before, I'm bringing sexy back. _You"_ and I got all uppity and snooty, "cannot intimidate me with your supposed good-looks and experience in broom closets."

I shudder to think what it's like to be alone with this weirdo.

Wait. I _am_ alone with this weirdo. And I just said that to him. I cannot even run away!

Whatever shall I do?

"My experience in broom closets?"

He's smirking again, yes at me! I do not appreciate that.

"Do you people even have chickens?"

**a/n: please review! I love reviews, no matter what they say!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: nope. Never have, never will.**

**A/n: I know, I know, it's been forever. (not really, but a while). Drama is starting, so hopefully I'll be able to keep this up for every weekend or something like that. I have cheesecake, and it's tantalizing me. It should be outlawed that cheesecake be frozen. **

**I would also like to take note right now that I love constructive criticism (keyword: constructive) I can't stand people who just bash things without suggestions of anything worthwhile. Why would you waste your time?**

**Without further ado, read and enjoy!**

Chapter 15

There is a sudden pain shooting through my back. Strangely, it seems to be in the shape of a foot. OUCH. I guess they're going to tell me now that I always had a secret longing to have a kick in the face wake me up in the morning.

Ah yes, now I remember what happened to get me into this vulnerable position on the floor, in the common room. We (that is, that Black kid and I) waited till everyone left the common room to fall asleep. Then, we woke up extra early so we could use the bathrooms without people walking in on him taking a shower in the little girl's room.

I know, I know, he acts a lot like a little girl, but as I recall, he seems to like thinking of himself as a "man".

Anywho, we got out of there, got dressed, and fell asleep in the common room once again. Usually I don't fall asleep for just this reason. Unfortunately… I must have let my guard down.

I would fall asleep on the floor, too.

Therefore, he's all on the couch, sleeping, clearly oblivious to these evil wenches, one of whom is currently pushing a foot into my back.

Oh wonderful, now there's a foot on my _head._ Did you know that that also has been a lifelong dream of mine? Neither did I.

"That's good, muggle girl, just stay down there."

Interesting proposition, that. The only problem is, I am not particularly fond of having my face ground into the rug. Not to mention that's what you witch-folk want me to do. You just want to keep me there, under your feet. Symbolically, just like the way you try desperately to keep yourselves feeling superior to any muggles, all those different from you, while we have had to learn how to get along without. You're like the nobles who think they know everything and have to keep the lower classes down.

But then, perhaps you want me to stand up. You seem like the type of people who love a good conflict.

Out of the corner of my eye, I just caught Sirius' eye. He stared into my eyes for a full two seconds, then closed his eyes again.

Which tells me nothing. Why is he not transparent? Is he were transparent, I would understand. Or at least have a greater potential of understanding.

Excruciating pain. That's the only way to describe this.

What are they doing to me? Are they sticking a wand up my behind? That's disgusting.

And potentially problematic.

I close my eyes and wait for the pain to be over. Magically, it is!

I quickly turn over onto my side, then my back, then sit up. Heh. It actually _was_ magically. Heheheh.

All those wenches look quite permanently attached to the floor. I glance over and see Sirius' mischievous grin. I grin back.

"Thanks."

"Anytime." He looked over at the girls. "And I'll thank you to not harm my friend any more."

They look absolutely mortified. You know, because they're all crushing on him really bad and he just totally owned their lives. Not to mention saw them without makeup. Heh.

Hold up. Did he just call me his friend? Aw, that's so sweet. Okay Sirius, I plan to be nicer from here on out. Unless you do something stupid again. Although, maybe he's just saying that to keep up with the act. I don't know. What if he is? What will I do?

"Henrietta? You can stop hyperventilating now. They aren't going to stick a wand up your trasero anymore."

"Right." I reply, not saying that wasn't the reason I was hyperventilating. I am just slightly obsessive, that's all. No big deal, it's not a big deal at all. Correct?

A/n: In case you don't take spanish, trasero means butt. To shamelessly promote, go read Disappointments and Jerkfaces! And review, telling me if it should be a oneshot or not. 

**George should be Peter: thank you for your constructive comments, I've tried, let me know if it's better. **

**A note to Kestrez, my AP Lit buddy: "I tried to make myself leave a hundred times, yet I followed you, I stayed with you…"**

"**Manure!"**

**Please review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: still, no. I know, it's unfortunate. **

**A/n:thanks for those of you who reviewed, I luv you all! Now, in the spirit of a lovely american holiday…**

Chapter 16

It's the last day we're 'attached' to each other. Mc-G grew a soul and gave in. We have arranged a fight to end at the exact instant we are free from each other.

I'm always up for a fake conflict.

However, it is also Thanksgiving. So why are we still going to school, and why is there breakfast? I really have no idea. I'm also not smelling turkey and it's starting to make me wonder.

Wait. I'm in Jolly olde England, aren't I? What is wrong with these people? Do they not understand the importance of an entire day being dedicated to eating the best a.k.a. most fattening foods?

Clearly there is something wrong with the culture.

You know, I think I'm having turkey withdrawals. Funny thing is, I don't even like turkey. I do, however, quite enjoy pie. Then again, who doesn't? After all, there's the sweet, juicy goodness inside the lovely breading.

Gods, I'm hungry already.

I'm Hungary for some Turkey. Heh.

I just burst out laughing in Potions.

"Would you care to share that with the class?"

Now at this point, I'm practically falling out of my chair laughing. They clearly do not understand my 'near-death from starvation on Thanksgiving' stance.

And I respond. "I'm hysterical from lack of an enormous amount of food, can't you tell?"

Sluggie just shook his head and moved on, clearly not willing to waste another minute on a good-for-nothing, not even for contacts, muggle like myself.

Whatever, that's the least of my concerns. The fight is coming on soon, and I need food.

**A/n: please review!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: If I was j.k. Rowling, I would be rich. And living in Great Britain. I am neither. **

**a/n: Sorry for the wait, I know, I'm terrible. This time, it's the fight!!!!!!!!!!! This was kinda fun to write, but I don't know how funny it is. Enjoy!**

Chapter 17

Sirius glanced at me and grinned, pointing at his watch. I look quickly at mine, and it's three minutes to start time. He was supposed to do this at one minute to start time. Oh no. I don't think our watches are in sync. This would be fine, if I hadn't set my watch to be on time with Mc-G's and when she was taking the spell off.

This could be a problem.

Everyone's gathering their stuff up, ready to leave the dungeons and Sluggie behind, and Sirius gets up and walks over to me, looking all mad.

Doesn't he realize he's supposed to wait until the bell rings? That's our cue.

To _start_ fighting.

I feel a sense of doom and gloom coming on.

"Did you think it would be funny, Henrietta?"

Oh boy, here comes the script. I must stall for time. "Yes, actually."

Oh no! I just sped it up!

"Well it's not! No one would appreciate what you did to me this morning."

"I can't help it if you can't take a joke!"

"Fine, well then Henrietta, we're through. If you think it's funny to put itching powder in my pants, we're absolutely through."

He's starting to walk away.

We have 2 more minutes.

Added time plus desperate situation equals a very panicky Henrietta!

"SIRIUS BLACK YOU SHOULD NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON ME!"

Because it's the only thing I can think of, I have begun a physical fight. I just slapped him across the face.

He shock is extremely evident, especially seeing as this part was not in the script.

"And it was just PEACHY when you put itching powder in my bra?"

Oops.

I used the bra word.

Shocked giggled are escaping the other students.

"I'm sick of you acting like the typical man and thinking that everything you do is perfect, and expecting us to not reciprocate? I don't take that kind of stuff lying down!"

I'm hearing the girls in the room affirming my statement.

One more minute to go and he's walking away. One more minute to never being found out. Until he tells his stupid best friends, that is.

I can see in his eyes that he's wondering why I'm prolonging this torture.

"Oh, go cry to Alvan!"

Gasp.

He did not just say that.

What if someone makes the connection? Whatever will I do?

"I said, don't walk away from me!"

"What do you want from me?"

"I'll tell you what I want from you. I want to have the last word, that's what. I want you to have a voice like Johnny Cash, okay? I want you to be less arrogant. I want you to be human."

"I'm not human?"

"No. You're not. You're a different species entirely. Without sympathy of any kind. And you make me _sick._"

"Fine"

"Up the elevator of your future, I've been shafted."

The bell's ringing. And_ I'm _the one walking away. Free and clear at last.

**a/n: that last line's from Johnny cash's "Flushed from the bathroom of your heart" it's amazing, go listen to it. **

**Please review!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: No, I do not own Harry Potter. If I did, I would not need to study for scholarship exams.**

**a/n: Ah, another chapter. I have heard that there was a problem with reviewing the last chapter, which I can only assume would be because I deleted the author's note. So if you didn't think I had updated, I did. You should probably read that one first, if you haven't yet.**

**Malísimo means very bad**

**To be honest, I thought I would take this in a different direction, but once I started writing…this happened. **

Chapter 18

Currently, I'm jogging back from band practice. They say it's healthy so I decided to give it a shot. Especially because it is far too cold for tennis now.

Hearing screams from behind me by approximately a mile, I'm starting to run for my life. I wonder if I should cut through the woods, or if that would be more dangerous?

Quickly, I decide to go ahead and cut through the trees.

I feel as if the branches are grabbing for my face, trying to hold me back for the pure-bloods. As I crash through the woods, I can feel something scratch and proceed to rip open my skin.

Seeing the wall of Hogwarts up ahead, I put on an added burst of speed. I can hear someone coming behind me, cursing softly as they can't seem to be able to get their wand out in time.

I whisper a word of opening, jump the wall, and quickly whisper a word of closing before the person can follow me inside.

As I lean against the wall, I begin to take stock of my situation. My robes are tattered and a bit bloody. My leg is gashed, along with my arm. My ankle hurts like no tomorrow and my face feels like half of it is gone.

Thinking this, I reach up and feel my face. Nope, it's still there, but a little beat up.

I have decided that I will rest here for a while. The castle is way too far away to make the effort right now. I'll just catch my breath.

I pull the hood of my cloak over my head and lie down, looking up at the gorgeous full moon.

- - - - - - -

Who's growling? And Yipping? Is that a squeak? I must be dreaming.

Blearily, I blink my eyes open. However, I soon find I can only open my eyes a slit. I assure you, that is not good. Not to mention it's dark as pitch out here.

Is that a howl? A HOWL????

This is malísimo.

I see this thing that looks suspicious similar to a buck and there's this other thing. It's like a human but excessively tall. And with a strangely long snout and extremely large teeth. The buck appears to be holding this, this _thing_ back. Which is lovely of it, really, seeing as it is tearing the bucking apart in its efforts to get to me.

Oh lord. Something is trying to eat me.

Now there's a dog launching itself at this thing.

I would really like to know what's going on.

Was I wrong? Is this not Hogwarts? I thought Hogwarts was supposed to be safe.

EEP!

There's a rat in front of my face.

EW!

I find rats mildly gross. But that's just me. Now, if I know they don't have a disease, I'm fine. However, to just meet one in the randomness of the world; I'm not very fond of this situation.

I feel like I really should be getting back into the Hogwarts building. But it is so far away. And I am so tired.

The immediate danger gone, I'm ashamed to say I fell asleep, despite the cold that makes me shiver.

About an hour later (and I'm only guessing at the time) I was rudely awakened once again, this time by something warm and wet being wiped over my face.

Which hurts like hell.

Caked blood is not a good thing.

"Henrietta, what happened to you? I can't leave you alone for twenty-four hours?"

Sirius?

I try to talk and quickly come to the realization that moving at all genuinely hurts.

Through my open slits I can vaguely see him smile…gently? This is weird. I was expecting sarcasm, or some such nonsense.

"I know this is going to hurt, but come on, try to sit up."

After I slapped him yesterday, although it was all in the interest of good timing, he is still being awfully nice, and even carried me all the way up to the hospital wing.

What is going on?

**a/n: ah, somewhat sweeter ending…**

**Please review!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: now, if I was JKRowling, I would be working on getting that book title…**

**a/n: I'm sorry guys! I know it's been forever, but…week before break sucks with all the teachers trying to cram in projects all at once….i'm sorry. Without further ado, I present to you, chapter the next.**

Chapter 19

How long have I been out? I wonder, feeling the uncomfortably hard bed beneath me. The bed is unpleasant, the painfully white sheets stretched tightly across, blinding me when I do open my eyes. I'm thinking that I must be in a hospital, for the bed is like a nice butt should be, tight; but there is a reason people do not lie on nice bottoms, and I have found it. The bed is so uncomfortable in fact, that I appear to have scabs and bruises from it.

Wait, I think the drugs are wearing off. Beds do not cause scabs and bruises. Sores, maybe, but that's if you lie in bed for months at a time, and are not moved at all. And for some reason, I don't think I have been here quite long enough for that.

Why are all hospitals white? It doesn't really make sense. Yes, it creates a feeling of clean, but it does not help sensitive eyes at all. Actually, it kind of feels like someone stabbed me in the eye. That would explain the white spots. Or it could be the sun coming in through the window. I'll go with the sun, because I refuse to believe someone in a hospital would poke a patient in the eye.

And if I am to keep my sanity, I must believe I am in a hospital.

Memory is starting to come back, and I'm remembering why I have these scraps, scabs, and bruises. Did they send me back home? I don't want to be sent home. I'm just starting to like it here, and I feel as if I'm making some headway with the Gryffindors (well, the males, females are too hard to understand anyway). I do not want to go back to that controlling environment, where I'm constantly scoffed at, and not in a good manner.

I do want a pretty pony.

Did I take a blow to the head? But I did not fight anyone. How could I…oh yeah. There was wall jumping involved. I must have hit my head when I dropped from the top.

_Drop it like it's hot,_

_Drop it like it's hot_...

Wow. I definitely do not need any more happy pills.

I wonder if I can turn my head. Surprisingly, it seems I can and, doing so, I can somewhat see these vague figures huddled over a white bed similar to mine.

Where on earth am I?

Okay, stop. Let's start with the simplest questions first. What is your name?

Henrietta.

Last name?

Oh no.

Okay, moving on. Do you know your address?

Shiznit.

What country are you in?

They could have moved me!

What country are you from?

United States.

What country were you going to school in?

Great Britain. Or, I suppose, the U.K.

What school were you attending?

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Oh my gosh, that's where I am, isn't it? I'm in the hospital wing of good old Hogwarts.

Now I really wonder how long I've been out. And who are those people over there?

I open my mouth to find out, and discover that I cannot make a sound. I think I need some water, to 'wet my whistle' with. Opening my mouth to ask for some, I realize that I need water to be able to ask for water. What a quagmire.

Involuntarily squeezing my hands in frustration, I am quite surprised when I feel an answering squeeze on my left hand. Suddenly, I feel the warmth of someone else there, and the weight on them on the bed. Slowly turning my head, I glance up into the vague direction a face should be, if the person was to be sitting down.

Seeing a pale object coming toward my head, I try desperately not to panic, knowing full well that I cannot get away. Forcing myself to stay still, I am flabbergasted when I feel the gentle touch of a hand on my face.

"I am so sorry. I should have protected you."

No. Way.

**a/n: Any suggestions?**

**Please R&R**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: Not mine. This is fortunate, because being so young, I would screw the series up royally. I have too many radical ideas…**

**a/n: sorry for the wait, there's really not an excuse. But I wrote a new oneshot called _The Poison_, and you should all read it. Yes, because I shamelessly advertise. **

Chapter 20

I still cannot believe this change that Sirius is showing in his personality. He used to be so arrogant, so pompous and now…now I do not know what to think.

Good thing I don't have to think to go to Potions. However, descending into the dungeons feels similar to descending to the very gates of hell. Without the heat. It's more of a frozen hell, really. Like an Antarctica without penguins.

It's the last day of my classes before break, and I'm finding it difficult decide whether or not to go home. If I stay here, I might be lonely, since all my friends (the few that I have) are going home. If I go home, I will have to face ridicule from my mother, saying what an idiot I have been to throw my life away on an experiment such as this. And in reality, she would be correct. The experiment has not born any fruit. I have not changed anyone's opinions, really. I have become a catalyst for unreasonable anger. This is also usually directed towards me.

But I do not like my failure to be spit out into my face, especially when I would not go and do it over any other way. Because these few friends that I have made, though they may not be all that close to me, are better than any other friends I have ever had. Much better than those shallow, giggly girls that I always secretly resented for their ease in the game of enticing boys. Their tangled web of lies was revolting to the very core of my being, and it thoroughly disgusted me the way all of humanity ate those lies like so much cake.

These people are not like that. Sure, there are always those people around, but I no longer associate myself with them. I no longer have to. Instead of being dishonest, these wonders of the witchfolk simply say that they cannot tell me. And I accept that readily, it is only fair. After all, I cannot tell them every single detail of my life either.

"It's about time you were stopped, muggle filth."

Joy to the world, stupidity is obvious! Look at how cute they are, thinking they can harm me with their little wooden sticks pointing at me. Well I've got some news for you, children of incest. I do not care. That's right. You can hurt me; you can kill me, because that means I will not have to make this decision. That means that my cause is not pointless, that I may have failed in my mission, but that my mission did exist. It means that I have tried.

It means that progress is at hand. For progress is always met with hate and fierce resistance. And it is always the less intelligent that attempt to stop progress, but there the less intelligent will always be. They are always unwilling to admit that there may be a better way, that questions are allowed to be asked, and should be answered, not dismissed with scoffs of disbelief.

"_Stupify!"_

Hey, look! It is no longer possible for me to move! Does that make you feel strong, witch-boy? Does it make you feel important? Do you feel…masculine?

Because you aren't. Not at all. You are not even effeminate. You are ant-like, not able to think for yourself.

I may not be able to speak or move at all, but I can still think. And you are not able to take that from me.

Although in retrospect, if I had been paying attention at all to what was going on around me and had not been lost in thought, perhaps this situation might have been avoidable. Maybe.

"Narcissa, Lucius. Kindly stop this nonsense. It's quite ridiculous." Look, it's my guardian angel! I really shouldn't be so cynical and disbelieving.

"Look Black, you are the traitor here. You have no place to _attempt_ to stop us."

"That doesn't mean he can't." Ah, the incorrigible James Potter, to my rescue as well? What is the world coming to?

Silently, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin make their presences known as well. Lily noiselessly used the counter-curse, freeing me from my invisible bonds. I wave my fingers to let her know that I can move, but I do not move so as not to draw attention to myself.

Sluggie peaked out the door to see what was taking the class so long. The argument quickly dissipated, but I saw Malfoy whisper aggressively to Sirius that "this isn't over".

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

"Thank you, Sirius. It seems I owe you my life in more than one way."

"You owe me nothing. That is what friends do."

He grinned slowly and for some reason, my toes tingled. Strange, to say the least.

"Hey Henrietta!"

"Ho, James. Thank you as well."

"Ho?"

"Right over there," I say, pointing over to his fan club. I must admit, that was pretty good thinking on my feet.

Laughing, I get off the couch and start towards my room.

"Wait." I stop, because I really have no choice. James Potter has a death grip on my arm. "Do you have anywhere to go for break?"

Ha. "That's hilarious, Potter. I was just debating the question myself, whether or not home was worth the ridicule." Seeing his face, I realize my mistake. "It was meant as a joke James, though a pathetically true one. You should have laughed, it would've made my life that much easier."

James shook his head, a sad smile on his face. I saw him glance at Sirius, and saw Sirius's own commiserating grin. "You're welcome to come with us, you know."

"No, I didn't. How could I possibly?" I declare with a half-hearted smile. "But I think perhaps I better take you up on that offer, no? It sounds much more pleasant than staying here, anyway."

"Great. Well, you should pack then, we leave tomorrow."

Glancing at the time, I realize something. Oh, shiznit. I have to be somewhere. Right. Now.

"Oh my gosh, thank you so much, I've got to run!"

**a/n: I do tend to leave things on a cliffhanger, don't I? Terribly sorry. Please review!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: heyhey! I do not own this! Or the song. If you don't recognize this song, I shake my head at you.**

**A/N: Thank you everyone for the reviews, I love you all! Here's another chapter because apparently I don't update enough. Haha. I really tried not to leave it at a cliffhanger this time, but I'm not sure if I did or not. **

**BTW, "te lo juro" means I swear it to you. **

Chapter 21

Skidding into the Great Hall, I ran into Alvan.

"Whoa, there my Henry chica child, where have you been? There's only an hour until start time, did you not notice?"

I'm ashamed to admit that I'm blushing deeply, feeling guilty that that was exactly what had happened. "Yeah, I'm so sorry guys; time just ran away with me."

"And I was just coming to look for you." Alvan smiled deeply, revealing perfect rows of pearly white teeth. It's no wonder girls are obsessed with him, really. Did I say his teeth were perfect? _He's_ perfect. Extremely good looking, has decent fashion sense, and is incredibly thoughtful. "To be perfectly honest, I was looking forward to romping about Hogwarts again, I haven't done that in ages."

"Well, I'm terribly sorry to have ruined your fun, but you wouldn't have been able to get to me. I'm afraid you don't have the password to the common room." I reply snappishly.

"Well, well, well. Look who decided to show up?"

"Hey Chilton, when was the last time you were on time before today? Never?"

"Shut up Keane, she doesn't need to know that!"

I snort and climb onto the temporary stage. After going over the "idiot sheet", or song list, for the night, I feel better prepared and my nerves begin to try _not_ to kill me.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Five minutes before Showtime. Five whole freaking minutes before the entirety of Hogwarts knows who I am, who the lead singer of The Fearless Masochists is.

Will they throw rotting vegetables? Will the room become silent, with no cheers once my name is announced? Will they boo me? Will they walk out of the Great Hall in disgust? Will they stalk me after break? Will they stalk me after the show tonight? If they stalk me, will it be good stalking (I love you!) or bad stalking (I'm going to kill you!)? Will I have my own fan club? Will I have an enemy club? Will I die tonight? What if I fall offstage? What if I forget the lyrics? What if I forget my name? What would happen if I crowd surfed? Would they drop me? What if they start a mosh pit and throw me in and I die? What if I forget to turn the microphone on? What if I get shaking leaf syndrome and can't hold the microphone? What if I have a heart attack and die right there? Will anyone care?

"Henrietta, honey," Thorpe is holding my shoulder. "You don't have to do this, you know."

I just burst out laughing hysterically. "That's…That's simply ludicrous!" They all joined in, nervous as well, although not as badly as I am.

"You know, you do have to do this, Henrietta." Alvan's kind eyes are looking into mine, filled with mirth. "But you aren't allowed to hyperventilate."

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

"And for the 'you are halfway through Term' Bash, Let's have a warm welcome for The Fearless Masochists!"

Screams, cheers, and applause greet us as the curtain is lifted. I quickly flash a grin at Alvan, who will be counting off the first song. "Happy Christmas, Hogwarts!" I'm still greeted with cheers and applause, but they clearly haven't noticed who I am yet. We had discussed this beforehand, and decided to meet the situation head-on. "Yes, I'm the new lead singer of this wonderful band, and I speak for the entirety of the group when I say we are as excited to be here as you are to have a break from classes!" Getting laughs, I feel stronger, renewed, and reborn. "And yes, for those of you with good eyesight, my name is Henrietta, and I trudge along to the majority of those classes with you. So I feel your pain. And your excitement as clearly as if it were my own, for it is." And there comes the silence, then whispers. Ah well, this is mighty uncomfortable, isn't it?

Suddenly, I hear a catcall and whip up my head to see a grinning Sirius standing on a table. He begins to clap. Not to be outdone, the remaining Marauders do the same, creating a wave of good feeling and covering the former feeling of animosity. Grateful, I flash him a grin.

Alvan counted off the song, I grabbed the microphone and started belting out the first song.

_"Hey…do it now…yeah hey_

Yeah, once I was a boogie singer…playin' in a rock & roll band  
I never had no problems, yeah…burnin' down the one night stands  
And everything around me, yeah…got to start to feelin' so low  
And I decided quickly yes, I did…to disco down and check out the show

Yeah, they were dancin' and singin' and movin' to the groovin'  
And just when it hit me somebody turned around and shouted

Play that funky music white boy  
Play that funky music right  
Play that funky music white boy  
Lay down that boogie and play that funky music till you die…  
(hey,hey) till you die…yeah, yeah

Well, I tried to understand this…Yeah, huh, I thought that they were out of their minds  
How could I be so foolish, How could I…tonight's the hours, the one behind  
So still I kept on fightin'…Wow, loosin' every step of the way (Yeah, what'd you do?)  
I said, "I must go back there"Got to go back…and check to see if things still the same

Yeah, they were dancin' and singin' and movin' to the groovin'  
And just when it hit me somebody turned around and shouted

Play that funky music white boy  
Play that funky music right  
Play that funky music white boy  
Lay down that boogie and play that funky music till you die…  
Till you die…(Yeah) Wow, till you die

(Come on…Play some electrified funky music)

Hey, wait a minute Now first it wasn't easy…changin' rock & roll and minds  
And things were getting shaky…I thought I'd have to leave it behind  
Oh, but now its so much better It's so much better…I'm funkin out in ev-er-y way  
But-I'll never lose that feelin' No I won't…Of how I learned my lesson that day

When they were dancin' and singin' and movin' to the groovin'  
And just when it hit me somebody turned around and shouted

Play that funky music white boy  
Play that funky music right  
Play that funky music white boy  
Lay down that boogie and play that funky music till you die…  
Till you die…oh, till you die

(They shouted, Play that funky music) Play that funky music  
(Play that funky music) Got to keep on…Play that funky music  
(Play that funky music) Pl--AY that funky music  
(Play that funky music) Wanna take ya higha now…

Play that funky music white boy  
Play that funky music right, yeah

Play that funky music white boy  
Play that funky music right

Play that funky music white boy  
Play that funky music right, yeah 

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

So now, after the "bash", as Dumbledore so eloquently called it, I have to pack. However, I'm completely exhausted. I really need some sleep. I'm about to doze off right now, but someone's knocking on my door.

It's obviously someone who doesn't care much for their lives.

"Henrietta?"

Oh. It's him. I suppose I should be nice, considering he smoothed over a potentially hazardous moment a few hours ago. Grumbling, I open the door for him.

Never mind. He completely reeks of alcohol, his eyes are bloodshot and he can hardly walk. He's stumbling into my room and lying on my bed. I am completely speechless, and still holding the door open. Coming to my senses, I promptly shut the door.

I cautiously walk over to him.

"I need to tell you something, Henrietta." He grabs my arm and pulls downward. He is surprisingly strong for someone that is clearly so drunk. Unfortunately, I wasn't hovering over the bed, and so I land gracelessly on the floor.

"Sirius, whatever it is, it can wait until tomorrow, okay? I'm exhausted, and you are completely, off your arse drunk. Wait until you are sober, please." I intone desperately. A sense of foreboding has come over me, and I fear what he might say.

"Henrietta, I like you."

"Of course you do, Sirius. I like you too. That is why we are friends."

"No." I can see that he's trying not to slur the words. "I love you."

This hurts so badly. Why did he have to come to me drunk, and say this, _drunk_? "Sirius, you do not know what you're saying. You are intoxicated."

"You don't understand." Beneath the drunken stupor in his eyes, I can see desperation, and it freaks me out. "I had to get drunk, or I would never have said it. I love you, Henrietta. With all of my heart. Te lo juro."

Opening my mouth to respond, I notice that he passed out. With tears in my eyes, I turn off the light and curl up on the floor.

**A/n: Reviewers are wonderful!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: Do I ever own the rights to anything? The answer is no. **

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, I love you guys! And I am really happy I surprised you! To be honest, I surprised myself. I did not mean for that to happen, but I decided to run with it. So here I am, running with it. **

Chapter 22

I have woken up to the utterly _revolting_ sound of retching and a horrid, rancid smell. At first, I don't quite understand, but the incident comes back to me fairly quickly.

Did he mean it?

Does he even remember doing it?

I really do not know how to handle this. And I think I might hurl from the power of unintentional suggestion that Sirius is throwing out a few feet away.

My eyes still scrunched tightly shut, I grope my way to the door, through the common room, and up to the boys' dormitory. Knocking on the door, I push it open and stumble into the room. Fumbling for the door, I close it again and lean against it, taking in a deep breath. Which I see now is huge mistake. Boys stink. After I cautiously open my eyes, I realize that they are still asleep.

"Wake up!"

"What the hell!" Seeing James grappling for his wand, I quickly shout another phrase.

"Sirius is in my room, throwing up. Do something about it. Now."

"No he's not, he's right here." Remus sleepily reached in the direction of the bed across from him. Slightly opening his eyes, he saw that Sirius was not, in fact, there. "That idiot. I told him not to do it."

"Nice concert by the way, Henrietta." James stated impishly.

In full disapproving teacher mode, I reprimand them all. Even though Peter still isn't awake. "You mean to tell me, that you let him get drunk, go crazy, and go to my room later than midnight. You realize that this is a learning institution and intoxicating beverages should not be allowed, even if you are of age. You, of all people, should know this, Remus. I am very disappointed in you. Go fix him."

Remus and James stumbled out of the room, cleaned up the mess, gave Sirius a hangover potion, and got him out of my room. Finally.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- --

This train ride is going to be very uncomfortable, I can tell. What with Lily sitting on James' lap, me avoiding Sirius, and Remus reading a book, there is virtually no room for conversation. Which leaves Peter to be an extremely agitated person, along with Sirius, but I'm avoiding him, remember? I'm not supposed to think about him. Speaking of the person I am decidedly not thinking of, I hope his head hurts like hell. I know it doesn't. Stupid witch-folk and their all-encompassing remedies. He deserves the repercussions. Since he is clearly not feeling them physically, I can only hope to clear up the unfairness with some mental instability.

However, this avoiding Sirius thing poses a problem. What am I going to do on this long train ride? I certainly cannot strike up a conversation with Peter. I have never really talked to him. Quite frankly, he creeps me out. And talking with James and Lily is out; they only have eyes for each other at this moment. It's quite annoying, really. Get a room. I cannot even read over the shoulder of Remus, he is in the middle of a fairly large novel, and I hate starting in the middle of stories.

I could think about music. But not really, because I can only truly think about music if I have something to write music with. And I can't simply burst out singing; that would be considered abnormal.

I suppose I could think about home, but that's not the most pleasant subject either. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, but we get along better from afar.

Which leaves Him (and I'm not talking about Jesus).

Is he playing some sick joke? Does he really think it's funny?

Is he a drunk? Or a coward, like he said?

No. He is not a coward, I know that much. He stood up to people for me; which could mean that he was telling the truth. But we are friends, and the other three Marauders plus Lily stood up for me too.

Do I feel the same way about him as he claims to feel about me? If I do, and I tell him thus, will I be twice the fool for believing what he said? Will everyone be disgusted by my gullibility?

If he does feel that way, does he really feel that getting drunk before saying it would help his cause? And if so, what does that tell me of his character?

Even if I try to take his statement at face value, and forget that he was drunk off his arse, how could he possibly love me when he has only known me for a few months?

How much experience does he _really_ have in broom closets?

During his conversation with Peter, I could feel Sirius's eyes on me for a while. I could feel the flush coming up my face. Unfortunately, I have no knowledge of a remedy to the blush. Someone should invent one; it turns a mildly embarrassing situation into an extremely horrid one.

The tense train ride is finally over! Now I get to start an uncomfortable break in which I shall have to live with James and Sirius. Fabulous.

James's parents are nice and normal (for witch folk). They are much more welcoming to me than my own family is. I'll take a guess and say that situation is not normal.

I suppose if you have that much love to go around, you should spread it onto the misfits of the world who have no source of it themselves.

In case you were wondering, the car ride was equally uncomfortable. James was quiet, obviously missing Lily, Sirius was jabbering with the parental Potters, and I was busy giving Mr. Confusing the Silent Treatment.

Unfortunately, the Silent Treatment only works if the other person notices that you are giving them the Silent Treatment. And Mr. Confusing hasn't seemed to notice. What did I get myself into?

As we pull into the drive, I realize that I may not have to worry about Mr. Confusing at all. In a house that big, I may never see anyone else ever again. They'll probably find my skeleton in an abandoned room in the house fifty years from now, when it is turned into a school because of its size.

**a/n: Please review! I am actually not sure what is going to happen next, so suggestions are definitely welcome! And tell me if this is a cliffhanger. I can't tell anymore.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: must I say it? Fine. I do not own the rights to anything Harry Potter. However, Henrietta is mine. **

**a/n: So I really was not kidding when I asked for suggestions…you're lucky I came up with anything at all. Anyway, I'm afraid I may have left a cliffhanger again, but maybe not. As I've said before, I never can tell (unless someone else is writing it). And yes, the italics portion is from a book within this story, and YES, it was repetitive on purpose. I just thought I'd mention that in the beginning, I had no intentions of making this a romance. I even tried not to. Oh well. **

Chapter 23

Sitting in the biggest bean bag chair imaginable, in the largest personal library I have ever heard of, I reach for the book closest to me. The Potters are now my official favorite family ever. Not only are they amazing personality-wise, but they are clearly avid book-lovers. Unfortunately, it's a trait they did not pass onto their only son, but I can live with that. As long as I never have to leave this room.

"_He licked his lips nervously, and walked up to the maiden. She smiled unknowingly at him, glanced down nervously, and began twiddling her fingers. He could not stand this any more. _

_He roughly, yet gently, threw her into the dark corner that was two feet away from the scene. _

_Her eyes widened innocently. Oh how he loved those eyes. She innocently asked "What are you doing? What do you want with me?"_

_He did not answer. He could not answer. No words were coming to him. He swiftly lifted his hand up to her cheek and began caressing it. _

_He smashed his lips into hers, and she kissed back, equally passionate. Their virgin hands began exploring each other's bodies, when her hand reached his, her heart gave a shudder, and the tremor resonated throughout her body. _

_They both groaned in pleasure, slowly falling down the wall towards the floor—"_

Ew. That is absolutely the most heinous scene I have ever read. I slam the book closed and gently place it back where it belongs. Looking at my surroundings clearly for the first time, I realize that I am in the Cheesy Romance Novel section. I'm not kidding either, there's a sign that says "Cheesy Romance Novels" above the shelving.

I feel as if I just lost some IQ points, and have ruined my pure, unsullied brain.

Attempting to move out of this section, however, proves difficult. I cannot seem to be able to get out of this giant bean bag chair. My first mistake was curling up into a ball within it. In all honesty, I can hardly see out anymore.

Have people died this way?

I guess that would answer the question of how I'm going to die. Death by suffocation was never exactly my first choice, but I suppose it's better than being burned alive. However, being suffocated allows no distraction from the fact that you are going to die. If one is being burned alive, you have the minor distraction of "oh my god, my flesh is burning!" and the diversion of that particular pain. In suffocation, the only pain is the not-being-able-to-breathe factor. And not being able to breathe leads to the stopped production of ATP and without ATP, you die.

Personally, I am more of an advocate for quick, painless deaths.

I know. I really do expect too much kindness from the world.

_Bang!_

Oh geez, what was that? Way to be loud, people. I'm sitting here, trying to have a respectable, honorable death by suffocation in a bean bag chair, and you're disrupting my peace. Now, if you are going to get me out of this mess (which I doubt) I will welcome the distraction. However, if you are going to leave me here, I will find a way to come back and haunt you. Or perhaps, instead of ruining my afterlife, when you die, I will make your afterlife a living hell. If that makes sense. Which it doesn't. But I know what I mean, and that's the important thing here. Because I'm talking to myself. And if I do not know what I mean, then what the hell am I doing?

"Henrietta?"

Oh thank you gods of wherever the hell you're from!

"I could really use some help here."

Eventually, I was found, by my guardian angel yet again, Mr. Confusing. I seem to remember giving him the silent treatment and vowing to give him the silent treatment until he apologized or some such nonsense. But to be perfectly honest, I could not care less right now if I break that vow. As long as I get out of this cursed chair, I must tell myself that everything will be all right.

He grabs my hands and pulls me out of the chair. Unfortunately, I have no balance whatsoever, so he has to catch me as well. I must say, this is a rather uncomfortable situation.

He is laughing at me!

"Cheesy romance novels?"

"Hey! The bean bag was deceiving, okay? I did not mean to come to this section, I hate cheesy romance novels, I would never have picked this section to start in any library, I was just way too excited at the prospect of this huge chair, which I see now was a gigantic mistake because I practically suffocated in there. And I had no idea when anyone would come and find me and—"

"Okay, okay. Calm down." His hands are on my shoulders. On My Shoulders. How weird is that?

Oh and his stupid eyes. They keep looking into mine. No one has ever been able to look into my eyes like that before. EVER.

I feel like I have lost a super power or something. And I feel kind of sad that I do not have this defense. But you know what? I find myself liking the feeling.

**a/n: oh no! what happens next? **

**I Don't Know.**

**I have a vague blob of an idea…but I could REALLY use suggestions now. **

**Please review, and in said review, SUGGEST things!**

**Thanks you to: Kestrez, Silvirtaj5, EldestOne, Konkon sujji, bw2005 and especially Kendra-the hyper one. You guys are amazing, if i forgot anyone (which I doubt) sorry, but these are the people who review the most, and I have a special affection for them. **


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I wish.**

**A/N: I am so sorry. I could have a long, validated list of why, but that would take too long and none of you care so….Let's just say LOTS of shit has been happening, and I haven't been home very much. Add to that writers block…and…that's the result.**

**So, because I don't really have time or the inspiration to write much anymore, I have decided that this will be the last chapter of this little story. I enjoyed writing it, and I enjoyed the reviews. And I have discovered that it's really hard to get back into the character of a story after a long hiatus from it. I tried my best, and please review this!**

Chapter 24

So Christmas was fun. There were awkward moments, because of the tension between myself and Mr. Confusing. But most of the awkward moments were caused by me not getting over things.

Seriously, how ironic is it that Witchfolk, with their witchcraft, celebrate Christmas?

In retrospect, I probably should have let that go after the first time I questioned them about it. But I'll stop worrying about that now.

It's likely I completely redeemed myself when I brought the band over that night and we played for the house. I really got down and dirty performing those songs. However, it's not entirely my fault, it IS my job to accurately portray the feelings presented in the songs we performed. It's not my fault at all (except it is, at least a little, but sh….) that most of the songs were dirty. Ah, well, dirty songs are more fun anyway. And come on, they are witchfolk. Celebrating Christmas.

Anyway, now that it's no longer Christmas, and we're just chilling out for a couple weeks until school, I've been dragging my guitar around with me all around the Potter's lovely mansion. Which is uncomfortable when the Potters have other people over. I mean, the Potters would never say anything about it; they're way too polite for that. Crazy rich people. But the guests aren't.

Right now, for instance. There's this chick over, James' cousin, what's her name? Oh yeah, Queen idiot of the world. Oh wait. That's sarcasm. Her actual name is Winnifred. Winnifred.

You think I'm kidding, don't you? I swear it's true.

Back to the point. She's hanging all over Sirius. And she would be hanging all over James, except that they're related. And apparently that's also frowned upon here. Oh wait. I lied again. There she is, hanging all over James. Crazy Purebloods and their inbreeding.

To be perfectly honest, it bothers me, this hanging all over Sirius thing. Because I've fallen for him pretty damn hard these past couple of days. And I have a strong desire to tell her: "Back off bitch, he's mine."

But that would be a lie. I have no claim on him. No matter how much I want it, I have no claim. And I don't think he wants me. Sometimes, I think he does, but then he goes along with whores, like this bitch.

"You know what I want, Sirius? I want a flower. If you get me one, I'll tell you a secret. In private."

Whore. What a wimpering, pathetic, whorish….wench.

So, to interrupt this, her opportune moment, I go back to science. Again. Around witchfolk, who apparently practice Christianity.

"Why would you ever want someone to cut off an organism's reproductive organs for you? That's just mean."

"What the hell are you talking about? Who the hell are you and what are you doing here?"

That idiot, Sirius is laughing his ass off. Well I'm glad I'm entertaining.

"Henrietta, flowers aren't reproductive organs."

Wow. Did he just say that? Why do I like an idiot?

"Yes, yes they are. And Fruits are actually the ovary of the flower." I then explained the birds and the bees plant style to the witchfolk. It was graceless, but it worked.

"That still doesn't answer the question of who you are." Winnifred just draped her legs over Sirius as she said this. I kid you not. And she's in a miniskirt. It's horrid.

"Look, Ms. I'm-Horny-And-I-Don't-Care-Who-It's-With," heheheehe. Her mouth dropped open. Oh gods, I feel a catfight coming on. "Get yourself some decent clothes and step away from Mr. Black. You're disgusting and degrading to all womankind."

"Oh please, you're just jealous 'cuz you wish you had all of this."

Excuse me?

To update you all, she's now on the floor, with my foot on her stomach.

mmmmm….power. In case you were wondering, my guitar is safe right now. I would never forget about my baby.

"Sweetheart, I've got more going for me than you ever will. I've got brains AND talent, and not just in the bedroom. So you can close your legs now, and go bark up another tree."

To prevent myself from losing it further, I just walked onto the balcony conveniently located not too far away from that room.

The only problem with that is the whole winter thing. However, I'm willing to deal with that for now. I need to cool down anyway. Wow. I haven't gotten into a fight over a guy…ever. And we aren't even 'together'. This is so intense it's scary.

"Hey."

Jesus. Of course this would happen right as I'm leaning over the balcony. So that I almost fall. How embarrassing. But of course it's my guardian angel.

Did you ever notice how my guardian angel creates a lot of the situations he gets me out of? Or maybe I'm just imagining things, trying to make it seem like he maybe…nevermind.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm perfectly freaking fine. Just fabulous. I'm not boiling inside from rage that I can no longer control all because of you. I'm not confused at all by your actions. I'm perfectly…judging by your face I'm saying all this out loud? And judging by the nodding of your head I really am? Damnit!"

"Admit it, you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous of that wench."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Well…it's not so much jealous as it is pissed at you for letting her do that."

"Why?"

Because I love you, damnit.

"Because….nevermind."

"Tell me."

"Nope."

What the hell is he doing? With the closer and closer proximity of his face to my face?

Oh. He's doing that kissing thing. With me! Not with the whore! With me! Damn. He IS good.

After the breaking away from the…KISSING!...we're just kind of staring at each other. Hhhee. I can't control myself, I'm so damn happy.

"So what happens now?"

"Everything."

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! Review, please, even though I've been a terrible updater. I love reviews!**


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